When Rob mentioned that he entered the Chicago Marathon, it was the perfect opportunity to visit a new city. I’ve visited many cities and lived in a few, and I’ve always been curious about Chicago, minus the weather. While considering colleges in high school, the University of Chicago, UPenn, and Boston University came to mind. In the end, I didn’t consider U of Chicago, but visited Penn and BU and chose BU. I’ve always had a certain intrigue and interest in Chicago.

I’ve had a mentor-friend since 1998 who lives in the Chicago area and decided to meet him for the first time!  We had five major highlights to look forward to on this trip: Seeing Rob and Andy, watching Rob in the Marathon, meeting one of my mentors, meeting our cousin Ken from New Mexico who was in town for a conference, and exploring a new city.

I shed tears of joy on the plane in anticipation of meeting my mentor, a genius who prefers to live a low profile life. I wish I could say more about this person; I’m overjoyed that we know him.  We landed Thursday morning, rented a car and headed west to meet our friend. We treasured every minute with him and didn’t want it to come to an end.

We took a nice walk along the Fox River and had a delightful lunch at Tusk Thai Cuisine, a locally owned restaurant that makes food fresh, daily, in house. He showed us around town, as he explained the rich, interesting history. Later that evening, we had dinner at a quaint family owned Italian restaurant, Riganato’s. The food, atmosphere and personal service was unique. Our friend has a warmth and magnetism in which people are drawn. I cherish these type of people and found myself smiling inside. Bob and I soon realized that 20 hours with him wasn’t enough and we’re already planning another trip back, when we can set aside 4 or 5 days. I was unable to sleep that night, as I had so much on my mind.

On Friday, we headed back to Chicago to sign into our hotel for the next 3 days. Although the weather was cool and rainy, we got familiar with the Loop, walked around Navy Pier and met my son, his wife and 2 of their friends for dinner at True Food Kitchen. Later that night, we headed over to the Sheraton to meet cousin Ken and didn’t get back to our hotel until 1:30 am. I thought I would fall asleep standing up on the way back. We walked about 9 miles that day.

Saturday morning was a day of sightseeing. 8 more miles of walking to places such as the Signature Lounge in the Hancock Building, the Cathedral, the “Bean” and a few nearby parks. We went to St. Peters Church and at the end of the mass, the priest called all the Marathon runners up to the front for a blessing. Over 100 runners proceeded to the front. Everywhere we went, there was awe and admiration for the runners. It’s quite an undertaking to be well trained to run and complete a marathon!

I really wanted to go to The Italian Villages: La Cantina, and was disappointed to call in the morning and be told that they were completely booked until 9:00pm. That was too late and that was a pattern we kept running into in trying to make reservations. Our runner wanted to be finished eating by 7:30 or 8pm, if possible. We decided to wander around in search of a restaurant when the need arose. I was a little nervous about this, but we had no other choice.

At 6:15pm, with no reservation, we found ourselves in front of the Italian Villages! The restaurant was crowded, the maître d’ greeted us and said he would seat us within fifteen minutes if we could be done by 8:00pm. Absolutely! The service was very good, the food was delicious and the atmosphere was cozy. I would recommend La Cantina.

Sunday morning – the big day! We arrived at mile 14 around 8:40am, and like clockwork, Rob ran by around 9:00am. We scooted over to mile 17 and saw him again and waited for Christian. I began videotaping and although we never saw Christian, we later took a closer look at the video and viola – there was Christian!

By 11:00 am, we were texting Andy back and forth, trying to meet at the finish line staging area, waiting for Rob to emerge. He was walking slowly, with a big grin on his face. He didn’t dare sit down for fear of not being able to get up! We went back to his hotel and Bob and I rested in the lobby for a few hours while Rob showered and napped. We were all refreshed and enjoyed some hors d’oeuvres with a great view in the Cityscape Bar. We were happy to sit down. I didn’t dare complain, but my feet and legs needed a rest after walking 25 miles during the course of 4 days. Later, we returned to a restaurant that Rob and Andy liked: Lou Malnati’s Pizzeria. The wait was over an hour, the restaurant was crowded, but the Chicago style pizza was delicious, especially the vegetarian pizza.

It was sad to say goodbye to Rob and Andy, but we’ll see them again soon. The most surprising thing about our trip to Chicago was that Bob and I really, really liked the city!  We’d like to return next September or October. Actually, since I prefer warm weather, I’d be most happy visiting the windy city in June, July or August. Our 2020 calendar is going to be busy, so the fall might work best for us.

Monday was our travel day.  We returned home after a wonderful time filled with new adventures. I wanted a few more days in Chicago, but sometimes it’s better to end a trip on a positive note than to overdo it. Rob and I kept texting back and forth and were still on a high from the trip for at least a week afterwards. Knowing and seeing athletes inspires me to solidify a few goals of my own…

This is why we liked Chicago: It wasn’t as crowded as I expected; the parts we saw were clean, well-maintained and graffiti-free; there were not as many police, taxis and loud blaring noises on the streets. Taxis were white, not yellow, so they didn’t stand out. For a city, I felt a positive level of politeness by employees and tourists. Public transportation worked well for us. We rode every color of the Loop except pink, green and yellow. There’s more to explore and we look forward to going back.

I was surprised to see less diversity as opposed to NYC or Washington DC. I thought Chicago would be a lot like NYC, but smaller in size. Not at all. Goodbye Chicago – hope to see you soon.

Bob and I decided to attend the Chicago Marathon to cheer for our son Rob. What a great occasion to see Rob and his wife Andy, who we hadn’t seen since their wedding in February.

Rob’s been running consistently since 2012. I looked forward to attending his running events in the early days, many of which were local 5Ks in Fairfax and Northern Virginia. A memorable race: when he placed first (I think he placed first) in a New Year’s Day 5K for his age group: We joked that partying and hangovers probably kept the serious contenders away!  When my friend Olivia was doing 50 half marathons in 50 states, he ended up running in 5 half marathons with her: VA, WV, PA, NC and MD.

Rob’s done 6 marathons, three of which we’ve seen in person: Marine Corps Marathon in 2013 and 2014 and Chicago 2019. We missed the MCM 2015, Richmond 2016, and NYC Marathon in 2017. Moving from Virginia to Florida in 2015 meant missing his races.

The times for his first two marathons were 4:36 and 4:34. We made a whole day of it – traveling on the Metro, finding a few places to see him along the route, and experiencing the fullness of a marathon – with big crowds, positivity, and excitement everywhere. We felt as if we were part of history watching the first place and early finishers sprint through the entire marathon, preceded by police and official vehicles.

I would like to outline some STARK differences in being a spectator from his early running days compared to today.

It’s amazing for anyone to finish a marathon, but you witness different types of people at different stages and times during the race. At the Marine Corps Marathons, we were surrounded by big crowds of spectators, fearful that we would miss our runner in the huge crowd of runners.

During the first two races, there were lots of laughs, runners dressed in costumes, people cracking jokes. During the last several miles of the 4:30+ crowd, we saw runners walking, pulling off to the side to massage a cramp, rest, sit on the curb, spit, trip, or keel over. Some are in agony; many are struggling to finish. Sweat, fatigue, annoyance, and sheer grit are written all over their faces. That’s the type of runners I saw when Rob was making his way through the last four miles of the MCM in those early years.

After the Marine Corps Marathons, the main gathering area near the finish line was a sea of festivity. The events were well organized and attended; the food they gave the runners was decent; the Metro lines leaving the race were long.

Let’s advance a few years: Rob cut his Marathon time down by 30 minutes in Richmond and attained a PR of 3:57 at the NYC Marathon in 2017. When we facetimed a few months ago about his training and progress, he was smiling, saying his training was going “very well” for Chicago. I know not to ask an athlete what they think their time will be for an event, but from what he was saying, I estimated that he would finish this marathon somewhere between 3:20 and 3:40. I CAN’T ask specifics and he won’t tell me. I’m banned. In the past, I’ve had the reputation of “sharing” too much information about his anticipated time.

I told Rob that if he ever participates in the Boston Marathon, I’d attend. He jokes that that day might be when he is in the 60+ age group, when the qualifying times are easier. If we are alive and well, we would be honored to attend. I spent 4 awesome formative years at Boston University, living in the city, and would like to go back for a visit.

Back to the marathon…

 

Bob and I stayed near Midway Airport, which involved taking advantage of public transportation to get into the city. We took a look at the course, and asked Rob when he might be running by the 14th and 17th mile point. He said around 9:00am for mile 14. He and Andy selected a hotel within a mile or so from the start line and her plan was to cheer for Rob at mile 3, 13 and 25. Bob and I didn’t want to get up so early to be at mile 3, so we chose to head to mile 14, 17 and then the finish line. This way, Rob could hope to see family members at four or five different points along the course.

What was nice about mile 14 and 17 was that they weren’t easy spots to get too from public transportation, meaning it required more walking, and maybe sparsely populated in those spots.  As we got off the “L” (or subway or Metro- we kept calling it the Metro, even though it’s the CTA – Chicago Transit Authority or Loop or L), we walked over a bridge around the mile 13 area and heard live music. It reminded me of Rob’s report of the Asheville Half Marathon, where there was a band at each mile along the course!

We walked a little more and found a good spot past the 14 mile mark. The course was well marked, with a sign indicating each mile along the course. I was ready with a bunch of homemade signs – 5 to be exact, with phrases on both sides.  They said: Go Rob, Go Christian, Go Kevin, Go Keith, Rob Griesemer #10549, Never Never Never Give Up, You Can Do it, Pray-You Need it, Free High-Fives, and my personal favorite that I should trade mark or copyright because I invented it and have never seen it: WTF-Way to Finish with an arrow pointing in the direction of the finish line.

 

I was equipped with the signs and I asked Bob to take videos and pictures and keep me informed of the exact location of the four runners we were tracking on the Chimarathon app. We found the crowd very sparse and runners were coming in “packs.” I’ve noticed this phenomenon in the front runners. You might see a lone runner or two, and 6-7 seconds later, you’ll see a few together. Maybe there is a drafting thing going on with the gazelles?!

Bob and I, as spectators, were watching focused, engaged, and determined runners. Rob later told us that any female we saw in this group would most likely qualify for the Boston Marathon. Runners who walk, peel off to the curb, sit down, or joke and smoke were nowhere to be found. This was the top 5-15% of the runners.

At one point, I pulled out my poster that said “free high fives.”  50% of the runners who zipped by me extended a hand for a high five. Bob said that we would probably get a completely different reaction from runners later into the race.

Someone asked if we saw runners dressed in costumes. Heck no. One guy had running gear that mimicked a business suit, but was definitely quality running gear. Years ago at the Marine Corps Marathon, there were dozens of runners in costumes in the slower groups.  No tutus or Big Birds here.

Many of the runners who flew by appeared as if it was just another day in their ordinary lives. A guy looked like he was skipping ahead to greet the ice cream man. One was tiptoeing through the tulips. One woman almost looked bored, like she had to go and take care of errands and more important matters when she completed the marathon. One man was shirtless in the 43 degrees. Many had sleeveless shirts and everyone wore shorts. I was bundled up in my winter coat, hat and gloves. I bet if we observed the slower runners, they would have more clothes on.

As a spectator, many runners were smiling and leisurely jogging for fun, yet underneath, I suspect they were executing a well-planned strategy. They were averaging between a 6:00 minute and 7:30 pace. They made it look effortless. No one was struggling and only one older (60ish) and slightly heavier man had some sweat forming on his forehead.

The runners looked different in the top 14% vs. the lower 50% that I noticed in the past. How about the spectators?  Guess what?  I could “feel” a sense of determination and competitiveness among the spectators! The crowd was quieter, maybe because it was smaller too. We were keeping track of our runners’ success on the course and it was interesting: the people I talked too were delighted that our runners were a little ahead of their schedule. I met a nice woman from the upper west side in Manhattan and she was delighted that her girlfriend was maintaining an 8 minute mile pace, when she was anticipating an 8:20-8:30 pace. She gladly held up a second sign with me when Rob approached on mile 14.

Bob said Rob would be coming soon, so we took our positions and got ready. I held the sign high and Rob said later that he noticed the sign several yards away and knew where we were. He was looking strong and happy. We saw that Christian was near mile 11 or 12, so we decided to walk a block to the mile 17 point to see Rob again. Once again, he zipped by running near the guy holding the 3 hour and 15 minute pacesetter sign.

On mile 17, everyone was searching the crowd for their runner. When I held up a sign, a guy a few feet behind me scolded me after a few seconds. He did this 2-3 times, even when I held it briefly and readjusted it to not obscure his view. Fortunately, there was enough room for us to reposition ourselves to get a good view. The crowd was only one deep, with plenty of room along the sidelines.

We waited for Rob’s friend Christian, who was maybe 5-10 minutes behind.  We hadn’t coordinated with Christian beforehand, so he wasn’t expecting us. We didn’t know what he was wearing, so we had a plan: Bob would go by the tracker, which seemed to be exact. I began videotaping, with Bob holding the Go Christian sign. We were randomly yelling, “Go Christian!” and “Christian, where are you?” Maybe he’d see us and respond.  No luck. After 2 minutes, I stopped recording, almost certain that he should have passed us.

Later that day when he joined up with us at the lobby of Rob and Andy’s hotel, I saw what he was wearing, took a look at the video and spotted him 15 seconds in!  He said he might have heard some faint chatter of “Go Christian” at some point!

We were following 3 other runners: 2 of his friends Christian and Kevin and a solid athlete I know from Clearwater named Keith. Both Kevin and Keith would be at radically different parts of the course at different times. We decided early on that we wouldn’t be looking for Kevin and Keith along the course, since they would be halfway across the city from Rob and Christian. We did follow them on the tracking app though and thought of them and saw that they were doing very well for their intended goals.

Andy said she noticed obvious differences in the runners at mile 3, 13 and 25: She said the runners were smiling on mile 3, engaged and serious at mile 13, and exhausted on mile 25.

One thing that was constant after the runners finish: They all emerge with their ponchos on, walking very slowly! It’s quite a beating on the body. Hopefully they’ll endure a little soreness, but no injuries.

Since Rob was speedy, we weren’t able to take the time to get to other locations along the route, unless we wanted to hurry and run from one point to another. I didn’t experience a huge crowd near the finish area, or at any time during the day. I felt as if I missed out on the full experience. We were only there for about two hours, didn’t stick around long and made our way back to Rob and Andy’s hotel. I wanted to maximize our time with them since we would all be flying home in different directions the next day.

I want to commend the significant others who had runners in the marathon: They make great sacrifices as their runners maintain an intense training schedule leading up to the race. It’s admirable for runners to balance a full time job and family while investing hours on a weekend morning to run 16-24 miles at a time leading up to the event. Weather and responsibilities are factored in. I met a young man at the airport on the way back to Tampa, accompanied by his wife and three young children. He said his goal was to finish the race and that training in the heat in Tampa is a challenge for him. I should have asked his name and looked up his time, because another pattern I’ve been noticing: Athletes who say: “My goal is to finish this race.”

Another thing I noticed:  Many of the runners travel from out of town with significant others and combine sightseeing in the city BEFORE the race. This often includes a lot of walking. Meanwhile, I bet their thoughts are mainly on the race, but they want their spectators to enjoy the mini-vacation. Rob says the elite runners don’t do that. They often fly in alone for the purpose of the race and leave soon afterwards.

Rob’s next goal is to fine tune his time on a half marathon, so we might be cheering for him at the Gasparilla Half. I saved the signs. Go Rob!

Rob has a blog if you’d like to read about his training and race experience:  http://rgriesemer3.blogspot.com/

Expectant women around the world look forward to their first ultrasound appointment. They want to see what their baby looks like; they want to verify their due date and they especially want to know the sex of the baby so that they can hone in on name selection, shopping and nursery decorating, and even plan their “reveal” party.

 Welcome to 2018, where planning, control and perfection are the name of the game. For many mothers, baby’s first picture will be the sonogram or ultrasound picture. Ultrasounds have become commonplace, expected, and even fun. The average woman will be scanned five times per pregnancy, with 16-17 ultrasounds reported for women who have complications.

Ultrasounds are big business. They add over a billion dollars annually to prenatal expenditure. Imagine if each woman had to pay out of pocket for her ultrasounds and that the average number of ultrasounds was 5. Here are some current costs PER SCAN in various states from highest to lowest: Alaska – $1869, Wisconsin -$1200, Nebraska – $1150, DC – $1130, Tennessee – $1041, Nevada – $486, with $686 per scan being the national median in the United States.

Jeanice Barcelo, a friend of mine, is deeply entrenched in research in ultrasound and plans on publishing a book in the near future. “The Dark Side of Prenatal Ultrasound and the Dangers of Non-Ionizing Radiation” is coming soon. Rather than cite her research findings here, please visit her website for current information and announcements: www.BirthofaNewEarth.com. I want to share some of her findings that, if taken seriously by the public, should cause women to pause and submit to an ultrasound only if medically necessary.

Barcelo proposes that an ultrasound performed before 12 weeks gestation poses a massive genetic threat to the developing fetus. She’s found that ultrasound can cause neurological damage, damage to DNA, thyroid and hormonal damage and childhood leukemia. She warns that ultrasound can cause DNA, chromosomal, mitochondria, genital and reproductive harm to the developing fetus.

Babies can hear ultrasonic frequencies that many adults cannot hear and to the baby, Barcelo says, “it is like being in a subway station when the trains are rolling in.” It’s very loud, scary and disturbing.

Barcelo has discovered that ultrasound IS radiation and we’ve been deceived by medical professionals who say it is “just sound waves.” It’s more than sound waves. We are told that it is non-ionizing and therefore “safe,” but it has the same effects as x-rays and other forms of radiation. At no time, Barcelo says, is ultrasound safe. It’s always harmful.

Many women will get a longer scan at 20 weeks. Isn’t it exciting that the baby moves when the device is placed on the abdomen? Why does that happen? It’s because dangerously high frequencies are being introduced into the baby’s otherwise cozy environment, deafening and shocking the fetus. But oh, isn’t it cute that the baby moves when the ultrasound is being conducted? We smile and it makes us happy and the baby is practically in distress and shouting, “Stop!” The baby’s nervous system is jolted.

My friend is pouring through research that concludes that ultrasound has been linked to miscarriage, and that it is causing intrauterine growth restriction and retardation in children.

I am aware that the culture believes ultrasound is 100% safe, necessary, and wise: “What if something is wrong? The more we know, the better off we are,” etc. I would like to ask that women in the childbearing years dig a little deeper and question if they absolutely NEED to have an ultrasound performed on them. Here’s my question: “In whom are you placing faith?” Doctors? Medical establishment? Yourself? The baby? God? Who?

I’m looking forward to “The Dark Side of Prenatal Ultrasound and the Dangers of Non-Ionizing Radiation.” Once again, expectant mothers need to ask tough questions and safeguard their health and the health of their unborn baby. As I ask on the homepage of my website, www.unassistedhomebirth.com, “What if everything you knew about birth was a lie? Would you do anything about it? What would you do?”

“Go forward bravely. Fear nothing. Trust in God; all will be well.” – St. Joan of Arc

Hundreds of priests and several bishops, archbishops and cardinals have been named as perpetrators in an epidemic of abuse and cover-ups that have been going on for decades and continue to go on today. The light has been shone to reveal that we aren’t dealing with isolated events, but extensive abuse and cover-up of criminal and outrageous behavior launched not only against children and teens, but against adult men and seminarians.

It’s horrific to picture ABUSE and sexual assault against minor children, whose knowledge of sexuality has not been formed. Abuse can traumatize victims and have long-lasting effects. Sexual assault demolishes a young victim’s view of trust and sexuality, and could damage their psychosexual development. Abuse begets abuse and is generational. Mothers have the power to protect and stop the cycle of abuse.

NEGLIGENCE in confronting dangerous behavior is unbecoming of a Christian. When someone has been wronged, they need to count on someone to give them a fair hearing or protection. Mothers cannot wait for justice and must do everything possible to ensure the safety of their children and ensure an environment where the opportunity for abuse is nonexistent and not tolerated.

COVER-UP. Protecting criminals, not confronting sexual assaults and abuse, shuffling priests around to other parishes and job assignments, and continuing to lie – I don’t have words for this. Records need to be seized before they are tossed to the shredder. Lies cover lies, so we cannot expect cooperation from people who’ve already gone to extremes. Some truth will surface, but we can rest in the comfort that God knows.

WHAT’S A MOTHER TO DO?

(1) MOM AS PROTECTOR. Impress upon your children the necessity of telling an adult whom they feel they can trust. Urge them to immediately report a verbal or physical incident that was uncomfortable or unwelcome. Children are not guilty, nor should they feel ashamed or be deceived into protecting a perpetrator; they were victimized.

(2) THIRTY-SECOND RULE. Mothers can insist and ensure that a child under age 12 isn’t alone with an authority figure for more than 30 seconds. This protects the authority figure from false accusations.

(3) TRAVEL IN THREES.  Having at least three people present can prevent victimization and false accusations.

(4) SACRAMENT OF RECONCILIATION. Select a separate door confessional rather than same-room confessional.

(5) GUARD AGAINST IDOLATRY. Be careful about placing complete faith in a priest, bishop or pope.  Do not make assumptions, but err on the side of ensuring safety for your family.

(6) SHIFT YOUR DONATIONS. You might like to decrease your contributions to your parish and withhold contributions to your Bishop’s annual fundraiser. Where is the money going? How will the Diocese pay for legal fees and settlements? Donate to community organizations.

(7) PROTECT YOUNG ADULTS. Various internet sources have alleged that “homosexual predation” exists and claim that hundreds of priests and seminarians have been victimized. Men who enter the priesthood must understand the possible environment they’re entering and pray that they can resist evil and be an instrument of change. No human being should endure rape silently or conform to a sinful environment.

Offenders target weak families. They’re highly skilled and know how to go undetected. Parents need to  protect their children.

(8) PERSUADE VICTIMS TO COME FORWARD. The best thing that could happen is for independent organizations to probe for the truth. It’s time to supersede internal truth-seeking and reporting within the Catholic Church. Justice and truth have not, and most likely will not be found in the current system. Outside agencies in all 50 states need to open investigations, and this requires brave individuals to come forward with their stories so that some type of order can replace the chaos.

When I lived in South Carolina, the palmetto bug (fancy term for huge cockroach) would scurry to a dark place when the light was turned on. Roaches love the dark. The roaches in the Catholic Church have been hiding for a long time in the dark. The light has been turned on. We need to find each and every roach. We do not have a safe environment until we do so.

(9) SHOW YOUR STRENGTH. Show your displeasure by carefully directing your donations. Show your presence by accompanying a minor child so that he or she will not be alone with an authority figure. Show your concern by becoming involved or asking questions. Demonstrate your personal power as a family mom.

(10) EMBRACE OUR BEAUTIFUL CATHOLIC FAITH. It’s truly a gift to be Catholic.  Live a virtuous and holy life so you can continue to experience God’s grace and blessings. Pray that good priests will not become discouraged.

No one stood up for St. Joan of Arc. She was a righteous, brave, wise young woman. “One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.” – St. Joan of Arc

Lynn M. Griesemer

Concerned Mother

http://www.marriagecoachlynn.com

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